Just say "Thank You". Geesh!

Look, I'm a nice person. I'm a direct and to the point person but I also happen to be pretty nice. I think if a person has done something for me or influenced me in a positive way, then I should let them know. If people do a good job you should tell them so; if you have time, let his/her supervisor know too. If a person looks especially nice or has some unique thing going on with his/her appearance there's nothing wrong with paying them a compliment. But here's the thing. Have you ever noticed how most people just don't know how to take a compliment? It's ridiculous. Are people really so unaccustomed to niceness? I remember this one time when I was working as an office assistant/coordinator/whatever and I noticed that one of my co-workers would hang his suit jacket on the corner of his cubicle everyday. We had a coat rack in the office but for some reason he didn't use it. I thought "Why is he messing up his suits like that?" The next time I placed a supply order I ordered him a hook to go over the side of his cubicle and a hanger for his suit jacket. He was shocked that I did that for him and for some reason it was a big deal to some of my co-workers. I was thinking "Dude, I don't want to marry you. It's just a hook."

Over the years, I've noticed a several common bad responses to compliments and or nice gestures. Below I put together a little "How to Take a Freakin' Compliment" tip sheet. Feel free to use and share with friends and/or offenders.

The How to Take a Freakin' Compliment Tip Sheet

Scenario 1: Someone pays you a compliment and your response is "I know right?" or "I know!"

Tip: This is the wrong response. No one wants to know how great you think you or your things are. It's a put off.

Appropriate response: "Thank You!"

Scenario 2: Someone pays you a compliment and after they walk away you say something like "She's always telling me how nice my stuff is. She's jealous."

Tip: You may want to get over yourself. Maybe, and this is a strong maybe, the person just likes your style. There's nothing wrong with that.

Appropriate response: "Thank You!"

Scenario 3: Someone pays you a compliment on your clothes and/or accessories and now you feel the need to tell them where you got it, how much it cost, how many are still in stock, how your mother found one just like it in Miami, or some other tidbit of information.

Tip: They don't care! Seriously. They want to give you a compliment, not find out your life story or hear a litany of shopping strategies. Just give the appropriate response. If they want to know more they'll ask you.

Appropriate response: "Thank You!"

Scenario 4: Someone pays you a compliment and you start to degrade yourself: "Oh, I look fat in this, I've gained weight, this old thing, it has a hole in it right here, etc."

Tip: Nobody cares about your low self esteem. Pick up a Bible, a Tony Robbins book, do what you need to do but don't subject everyone to your negative self talk.

Appropriate response: "Thank You!"

Scenario 5: You help someone with something or you're a person of influence in the community (a pastor, businessperson, executive director, etc.) and the person shows gratitude for your help with a card, a kind word or something similar. You thank them but then act awkwardly toward them because you think they have a crush on you.

Tip: They probably don't have a crush on you.  Maybe one person stalked you for a couple of months several years ago but you've got to let that go. 

Note: Since you are in the public eye it is possible that a person here or there develops a crush on you but you should not let that impact your reaction to every compliment. Also, the person may have the equivalent of a "Man Crush", which is pretty harmless. Either way; calm the heck down.

Appropriate response: "Thank You!" 

Scenario 6: Someone of the opposite sex or someone of the same sex that you know to be homosexual pays you a compliment and now you think the person is in love with you.

Tip: Get over yourself. Yes, I know you're hot but everyone is not in love with you. Do not start acting differently around this person. You are embarrassing yourself.

Appropriate response: "Thank You!"

In short, people give compliments for various reasons. Some people are sincere, some are sucking up, some may actually have a crush but the point here is that the correct way to respond to any compliment or nice gesture is to simply say "Thank You!" and keep it moving. Don't read into it and don't be a jerk. It's not the right time for arrogance, embarrassment, low self esteem, boring stories, or delusion.

If you have trouble with these tips and find yourself taking compliments way too personally you might want to pick up The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Sometimes I find myself responding the wrong way but I just dust myself off and try again. Remember, practice makes perfect!